Breakfast Sandwich

Today, for breakfast, I knew exactly what I wanted. A breakfast sandwich with sausage, egg, and American cheese on toasted and buttered white bread with a fruit cup from Canopy Road. I ordered it and I almost said wheat bread from habit. I thought to myself, "Will wheat satisfy exactly what I crave?" the answer, "no." My meal came out a lot more quickly than I anticipated and I was almost taken aback at what I had dared to do. WHITE BREAD? Not only white bread but AMERICAN CHEESE? I started in on the sammie. I took a huge first bite and quickly chewed and swallowed. I brought the sandwich up for a second bite, and then I reminded myself that part of this whole exercise in food allowance is to enjoy and savor. So, I did. I enjoyed the crunchiness of the bread, the melty cheese, salty sausage, and creamy egg. I enjoyed the sweet tang of the pineapple and the sweet creamy of the melon of the fruit cup. I looked down, and half my sandwich remained. At first I grab it and take it to my mouth to be devoured, but right as it hits my lips I ask myself,

"Are you still hungry? Are you satisfied? Or, are you eating this because you are afraid that this may be the last breakfast sandwich you will have ever in your life? Are you worried that you will miss it? That this is the only opportunity you will have to enjoy such a masterpiece of the morning? That you want to be completely full? Maybe Matt won't ever let me have another breakfast sandwich like this in the entire world, and I am throwing half of my opportunity for perfect breakfastedness away!"

I think, "Well, I'm not hungry. I don't know why I have to finish this sandwich now. There is no scarcity of breakfast sandwiches in the world. In fact, I could easily access one anywhere if I wanted. So, I will take the half with me on my drive. It will keep me company in the front seat, and I will know that if I become hungry and if I decide a breakfast sandwich is what I want to eat, it will be right there for me." I started daydreaming about the sandwich. Eating on the drive. How delicious it will be around Perry, GA. Perfect timing for a little snark-a-roo before lunch. I stop myself. I'm not even out of the cafe and I am already planning when I will eat the rest of this meal.

"Sicko,"

I think to myself.

"Just get on the road and stop planning your food for the rest of the day. Your body will let you know if this is what you want. Or even if it will be hungry in Perry. You don't know."

I get on the road. Perry, GA comes and goes. No sandwich. I don't want it. I want something cold, crunchy, and creamy for lunch, with a tang on the side. I get a caesar wrap and a lemonade from Chik-fil-A. Perfect.

Where is my delectable sammie now? In the fridge. Maybe I'll want it for breakfast tomorrow. Maybe my body will want yogurt with granola. All I know is that it is here. Safe. Not scarce. Secure.